Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
