just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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