brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
