i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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