yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
