I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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