What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
