so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
