she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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