Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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