Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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