hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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