i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
