omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
