i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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