On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
