i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
