Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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