This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
