I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
