I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
