I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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