idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
