I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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