Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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