I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
