How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
