This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
