She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
