you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
