Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
