I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
