i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
