I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He has the fingertips of a God
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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