i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
