Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
