Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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