I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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