he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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