i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
