she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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