I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
