look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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