the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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