In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
