Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
