I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
