Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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