if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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