This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I know her cup size but not her name....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
