Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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